A person with severe multiple chemical sensitivities and fibromyalgia describes their lifelong struggles with debilitating illnesses and their decision to end their life through assisted suicide in Switzerland.
I am ending my life at a clinic in Switzerland today. This piece was written three weeks ago. I’ve been trapped for decades in a body that doesn’t function the way other bodies do and I am ready to finally be free.
My issue with my muscles has also been going on for almost 40 years. I used to be very active. I loved playing sports like tennis when I was younger. All of a sudden, in my early 20s, I couldn’t hold the racket anymore. I’d try to hit the ball and I couldn’t. I knew I wanted to end my life within seconds of learning that I have breast cancer. I said, “Thank God, I can go now,” because I knew that in order to qualify for “death with dignity” — or medical aid in dying — in the United States, you must have a terminal illness. Suddenly I was in a position where I could finally stop struggling and go in a peaceful manner — or at least I thought I could. I thought,My surgeon said he respected my choice, but my oncologist was not receptive to my plan.
We’ve been married for 20 years. He has been so incredibly supportive. He has watched me suffer and taken care of me all of these years and it has been so hard on him and I don’t want that for him anymore. I know he’s devastated — he’s broken down a few times — but he’s trying to keep himself together because he knows that is what I want. He would never ask me not to do this.
My husband is taking me to Switzerland. We’re going to visit Europe for two weeks before my appointment. We’re staying at an organic farm in Tuscany — I’ve been there before and I can breathe there. I’m too weak to travel to the little towns around it and sightsee, but just being surrounded by all of that beauty and peace will be enough. And I’ll get to be there with him. It’ll be our time to connect and say goodbye. That’s really important to me.
Assisted Suicide Multiple Chemical Sensitivities Fibromyalgia Terminal Illness Death With Dignity
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