'Watch as I pirouette through the sky, defying gravity, flouting the will of the Creator, and making a mockery of His plan. Weeeeeeee!'
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Can you see me? Tilt your head way, way back and look for the big, round nylon bag with a wicker basket dangling just below it. That’s me! Watch as I pirouette through the sky, defying gravity, flouting the will of the Creator, and making a mockery of His plan.I am a technicolor abomination. Mankind, in its insolence, spurned divine law to birth me from bolts of synthetic fabric and dye me colors far brighter than those found in His Creation.
Will I land on the soft grass below, or will I smash into the ground and continue ever downward to the depths of hell where I belong? I’ve spent this miserable, pointless existence hoisting the wretched humans skyward, and now, in my final moments, God will use me as a vessel to punish them for their debauchery and extravagance.Oh boy, I’m going to rain down terror on the Hudson Valley! Burn, burn, burn! The ground is so close now. I’m almost there.
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