Dear How to Do It: I'm actually a little scared of him now.
Recently, I was using my husband’s computer for something. I wasn’t snooping, to be clear—we often use each other’s computers. I noticed he had a minimized browser window that I assume he left open by accident. It was a pornographic subreddit he apparently frequents. I was shocked—I didn’t know he looked at pornography. I shouldn’t have kept looking, but what I saw was distressing.
He has never indicated an interest in any of this to me. Our sex life has been normal and tame. His politics are fairly liberal and he’s never said anything to me that made me think he hated women. We haven’t discussed any of this since the discovery, but I don’t know how to act around him anymore. He’s never been physically violent with me or our children, but he’s had anger management issues most of his life. He’s always been very open about that and sees a therapist about it.
There’ve been many studies investigating the link between pornography and sexual violence, but there’s actually not much of one. In fact, a 2020 meta-analysis of more than 50 studies from the preceding 40 years foundat all.
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