The “America’s Got Talent” judge has an intrusive fear of germs that started during childhood.
, per ABC News, and he wondered if he’d made a mistake. “My first thought was that I’ve embarrassed my family,” he recalled to. “Then I thought, ‘Nobody is going to hire somebody who isn’t stable.’ Those were my fears.”
Thankfully, comedy has always been his saving grace. “Comedy saved me in a way,” he said. “I’m most comfortable onstage. And when I don’t have anything to do, I turn inward—and that’s not good.”. But you didn’t see what he felt forced to do afterwards. “I’d think I didn’t wash [my hand] well enough. And I’d go back and forth in a loop washing my hands for hours. I understand the funny in that. But it doesn’t mean it isn’t incredibly painful. And I don’t want to defend my mental health.
Now that he has a better understanding of his condition, he hopes to use his platform to raise awareness and eliminate the shame around it. “My life’s mission is to remove the stigma,” he told. “I’m broken. But this is my reality. I know there’s going to be darkness again, and I cherish every moment of light.”
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