Avoiding difficult emotions gives them power. By noticing, connecting with, and naming what we feel, we create space to respond with clarity and regain mastery.
Waves of emotion can often pass in just 90 seconds.At the beginning of my session with Lloyd, I knew something was off.and backed by plenty of investors. But unfortunately, when his product launched, it was clear it would evoke none of the warm reception of the first.
“How could I have been so wrong?” he lamented in our session. To him, it seemed like all roads were leading towards failure. The“Feel into it,” I replied. Together, we took several deep breaths until Lloyd told me the knot in his stomach was dissipating. “What else?” I asked.I attempted to draw Lloyd’s focus to this fog, suggesting that he travel to its center in his mind. Though he was resistant at first, eventually he pictured traversing it.Lloyd’s challenges didn’t disappear overnight. But over time, his relationship to them changed. Each time the fog returned, or the knot reappeared, he stopped resisting and instead turned toward the experience, exploring it with curiosity.can all manifest throughout our bodies in different ways. I’ve found while working with clients that they’re expending much more energy than they realize while resisting these so-called “negative” sensations. It takes trust to open ourselves to life. Lloyd had to have confidence that he’d be all right, no matter what awaited him in the fog. By learning to sense and examine his emotions, he took away much of their power over him. Soon, he was able to find new creative solutions with his team, never giving up until they found something that worked.When we notice and name our difficult emotions, we create much-needed space from them. By putting feelings into words, engaging the brain’s language centers, we shift out of raw reactivity and gain the freedom to respond more thoughtfully and intentionally.is triggered, the body experiences a chemical surge that naturally dissipates in about 90 seconds . By pausing, noticing, and allowing that initial wave to pass without resisting it, we buildAs Viktor Frankl put it, “Between stimulus and response there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom.”Begin by noticing your present experience. What sensations are you aware of in your body? What emotions, if any, are arising? What thoughts are moving through your mind?If you detect any tension or discomfort, simply observe it. What happens in your body and your breath when you bring gentle awareness to that tension? Now, if you’d like, allow yourself to make a small adjustment to become more comfortable. As you do, notice: What happens when something that was in the background of your awareness is brought into focus? Does it soften, intensify, or shift in some other way?As you continue breathing, notice any changes. Has the feeling shifted? Become more or less intense? Taken on a different quality? Finally, reflect: What did you observe? What did you learn about how your inner experience changes when you bring awareness to it?. With practice, these moments of awareness can help you become more present, more connected to yourself, and more able to respond to life with greater centeredness, clarity, and intention. Putting Feelings Into Words: Affect Labeling As Implicit Emotion Regulation by Jared B. Torre & Matthew D. Lieberman . Emotion Review, 10, 116–124. Amram, Yosi . The Seven Dimensions of Spiritual Intelligence: An Ecumenical Grounded Theory . Paper presented at the 115th Annual Conference of the American Psychological Association, San Francisco, CA. Available at intelligensi.com/spiritual-intelligence/The Friend EffectSelf Tests are all about you. Are you outgoing or introverted? Are you a narcissist? Does perfectionism hold you back? Find out the answers to these questions and more with Psychology Today.
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