A 'sleep divorce' isn't the only option. Try a vibrating alarm, change the temperature of your bed, or buy two duvets.
rank Thewes is used to hearing from people who wake up on the wrong side of bed because of their partner’s sleeping habits—but who don’t want to move into separate rooms. He was one of them, once. “It can be highly symbolic for somebody to consider a sleep divorce,” says Thewes, a couples therapist in Princeton, N.J. “For a lot of people, that’s scary territory, so they want to avoid it.”
The first step to figuring out a way to make it work is understanding that sleep is highly individualized: we all need a different amount and prefer different hours, says Jeff Kahn, CEO of the sleep tracker app. If one person wants to go to bed at 9 p.m. and their partner would rather turn in at 1 a.m., there’s nothing wrong with either of them. “It’s a genetic thing, not a behavioral trait,” he says—and treating it as such can improve relationships. Your wife likes to sleep in until 10 a.m.
altogether. And no one will get mad at their bedmate for hogging the covers. “With two separate blankets, we get to be together in the bed and have individualized control over the sleep experience,” Thewes says. “A blanket is not designed for two opposing styles—‘I roll this way and you roll that way.’ The people don’t have the shortcomings; the blanket does.”Some people perform elaborate gymnastics routines while they’re asleep—tossing and turning like it might earn them a prize.
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