To curb your people pleasing habit, try to: 📈 Observe how you spend your time and energy over a week 💆🏾 Understand your bandwidth, and learn to respect it 👉 Learn the difference between desire and obligation 🛑 Pause before you say yes (NPRLifeKit)
It can be tempting to say yes to things you just don't want to do. Might as well just get it done so nothing bad happens, right?"We suppress and repress who we are to please others," saysWhen your top priority is to be liked all the time, you aren't in touch with what you need.People pleasing isn't something that just pushovers do. Lue notes that perfectionists tend to be prone to people pleasing.
"People pleasing is a response to old hurts and loss," she says."It is undoubtedly ... a survival and coping mechanism that we've learned in childhood and then just continued on in adulthood.This habit can also be a survival tactic, Lue notes, for those from marginalized backgrounds to repress who they are.
"We might look at our week [and realize], 'I spend, like, 90% of my week doing stuff that feels like I'm trapped. ... This is why I'm anxious,'"explains Lue. She says people pleasers spend a lot of energy going out of their way for others, expecting that energy source to keep renewing itself.
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