Figure out what feels good for you
Understand that gender dysphoria is different for everyone
For instance, sometimes my chest dysphoria is so strong that it’s all I can think about during sex. Any acknowledgment of my chest when my dysphoria is severe completely kills my sex drive. Other times, I feel more comfortable with the presence of my chest and want to be touched there. I have also had partners who, during some of our sexual encounters, do not want to be touched below the waist at all.
Meanwhile, some trans people may not want parts of their bodies referred to or acknowledged at all. In these situations, acknowledging body parts without your partner’s consent can quickly turn a sexual encounter into a traumatic and distressing event.Consent and setting boundaries are the most important parts of making sure sexual encounters are safe and fun for everyone involved.
However, knowing how to assert your boundaries does not necessarily make the conversation any easier or less nerve-wracking. “Being direct with your boundaries can be challenging, especially since many trans people are taught to be ashamed of themselves, their bodies, and their needs,” Raines said. “But remember, your partner can’t read your mind, so being direct with your needs helps them understand how to help you feel safe, comfortable [and] respected.
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