Practicing gratitude doesn't have to be this hard, writes Dr. Robert Waldinger
, asking them to write down three things each day for which they’re grateful seems to create a process by which they start noticing positive aspects of their lives and their relationships that otherwise remain invisible.
When we’re lost in doldrums of apathy or anxiety, it’s hard to access the feeling of being grateful for anything. Trying to count blessings by calling to mind things weappreciate can feel like an intellectual exercise with no emotional resonance. What then? One simple tactic is to simply wait. Give yourself time. Like the weather, our moods shift sooner or later. They may not shift from gloom to joy, but at least to a place of more emotional neutrality.
When you’re having trouble finding something to be grateful for, try a simple exercise known as counterfactual thinking. Psychologistand colleagues asked people to imagine what life would have been like if they had not met an important person or experienced a pivotal life event.
That is, perhaps, the greatest benefit of reaching for gratitude: It can turn our usual views of ourselves and the world upside down. It can take what’s invisible in the background and bring it front and center. We take for granted the days when we are not sick or in pain, the nights when we have shelter from the rain, and the mornings we wake up again to life.
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