Strategies for parents who want to help their sons cope with feelings of anger in a productive way.
When I found out I was having my first boy five years ago, I was elated and excited ... and then worried about anger. There had recently been yet another school shooting, followed by yet another rash of headlines about boys, guns and rage. I understand the roots of that kind of violence are deeply complex, and that in my own life I am surrounded by loving, empathetic men. But I was also a hormonal soon-to-be first-time mom . I worried that I would raise an angry young man.
So, first and foremost, it helps to understand the basics of what anger is: basically, a response to a perceived threat. The body releases adrenaline and the heart rate and blood pressure go up. It is absolutely fine — and sometimes really positive — to feel angry. “Psychologists have a saying that boys externalize and girls internalize. This means that boys are more likely to take their anger and distress and direct it outward, where it can become verbal or physical aggression. On the other hand, girls are more likely to direct their anger and frustrations inward towards themselves, so it can become self-blame or even depression,” Meyers said.
Be soothingAlthough parents might react to a child’s anger or outburst by walking away , experts say there is a strong argument to be made for soothing children.
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