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Let’s be real: Sex means different things to different people. We don’t all do it the same way. Whether you’re queer or straight, young or old, in a new relationship or an old relationship, there is no one set way to have sex. But, when most of us imagine sex in our heads, there’s probably one thing our mental pictures have in common: Sex is loud.
For what it’s worth, some partners are naturally silent during sex. Natalie Finegood Goldberg, CST, LMFT, notes, “Some people are naturally quiet during sex, and don’t express pleasure through load moans and groans, whereas some people are quiet because they struggle to fully relax and release their inhibitions.”
Even if you’re not usually into quiet sex, you might come to really enjoy it. “Some people don’t like to make noise in general. Perhaps they’re usually soft spoken, and so loud sex is out of character for them,” says Rosara Torrisi, PhD, founder and director of the Long Island Institute of Sex Therapy in New York. “Others enjoy quiet sex because it usually occurs when they’re in a more public space and there’s a thrill of potentially being overheard.
Quiet sex doesn’t mean you can’t find a way to have good, passionate sex. Some people even prefer it.
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