It can be difficult, but so important for your overall well-being.
is like the experience of using an ATM machine that always takes money from you but never dispenses it. “You continually devote emotional resources towards the relationship but feel taken advantage of and depleted in return.” When toxic boundaries are present, there is frequent disappointment, confusion and resentment.According to MacMillan, the first step is being explicit about your boundary and not assuming the family member already knows what you need.
“Sometimes, when we are surrounded by toxic situations, we tend to believe this is the normal function of relationships and want to hold on,” offers Douglas. Through therapy, it becomes possible to learn what boundaries are needed for you to thrive in familial relationships. However, Douglas emphasizes that when deciding to place boundaries on a relationship, it will take work and dedication, so putting a routine of self-care in place concurrently is necessary.
This still sets a boundary while not abandoning the person, and allows space for both people to process the conflict before addressing it again. However, if it is not an isolated incident and you continue to run into the same issues, you may need to remove yourself from the situation and cut off all contact for a longer period of time, if not permanently. As Douglas believes, sometimes the amount of pain and anguish caused by a familial relationship may mean it is not one worth continuing.
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