Go in calm, practice empathy, and focus on stories rather than facts
in October found that empathizing with the people you disagree with may make your political arguments more persuasive. Using terms like “I agree,” “we all want,” and “I understand that” can help indicate empathy.
If somebody declares that protests against police need to stop, for example, you could agree that good police officers certainly do exist. “Your strategy is to agree to the extent that you can with something embedded in their statement, even if you disagree with part of it,” says Campt, who consults on areas of diversity, inclusion, and equity and is the creator of the White Ally Toolkit, an anti-racism workbook. He thinks of the strategy as ABC: agree before challenging.
For example, you might start by asking someone: On a scale of 1 to 10, how strongly do you feel about gun control? Suppose the person responds with a 7. Why not a 6 or a 10? Often, when you pose that follow-up question, they’ll pause and say, “Well…” before delivering an explanation—perhaps the first they’ve ever articulated, even to themselves. At that point, the person you’re talking to might discover their opinions aren’t as strong as they had thought, and that there’s room for flexibility.
It’s also OK to take breaks. If things start to escalate, step away with the excuse of visiting the restroom, Campt suggests, and take a moment to compose yourself before deciding whether and how to continue.are rare, look no further than antagonistic Twitter threads and long-winded, belligerent Facebook comments. Online, you’re often anonymous, you can’t see the other person’s face, and it’s easy to misconstrue their words and intentions, Gray says.
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