For years, I felt embarrassed about my vulva. Then I finally learned to accept it, with help from the unlikeliest of sources: TikTok tiktok vulvas pussypower bodypositivity
“I could never be gay because I think my own vagina is fucking disgusting.” That’s what I used to say, with a laugh, before I fully understood the complexities of gender and queer attraction, and their complete separation from genitalia. And when I came out as pansexual a few years later, I discovered that not all vulvas were disgusting. Some, in fact, could be rather lovely. Just not mine.
The fact that I even had an opinion about my vulva alarmed me. How have beauty standards become so insidious that they have us critiquing the appearance of something we rarely see and have zero control over? The range of “normal” is so vast that it is difficult to share any one model of a vagina, which is probably why I have never seen one like mine. Stella Harris is a sex educator and coach who teaches a class called Mapping the Vulva, where students are asked to draw a vulva before learning about the anatomy. “I regularly have people in my classes end up in tears when they find out they are ‘normal,’” she tells me.
But I’d never seen any conversations about vulva insecurities. That is, until I got on TikTok. It started with a clip that used the “salami lid” sound—taken from a video of a guy saying, “the salami lid ain’t gonna fit,” as he attempts to put a lid on an over-full container of sliced salami. The sound has been used in dozens of TikToks to accompany videos of things that are too big for other things—like a fat cat trying to slip through a gate.
TikTok became the space I didn’t know I needed. Hearing people normalize it and essentially say, “Hey, I have the same situation down there, let’s laugh about it and commiserate over our cute panties never fitting quite right,” made me feel a whole lot less like I was this gross person with a weird vagina.
I posted my own TikTok video in which I show off some new Reebok boy shorts that offer full front-butt coverage. I used sound from Watkins’ clip , along with text over the video that read “never found boy shorts that actually covered everything…till now.” I then kick my leg in the air with text reading, “demonstrating I can kick without releasing the hot pocket.
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