How Once-Scandalous Ashley Madison Stays Hot in the Era of Throuples

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How Once-Scandalous Ashley Madison Stays Hot in the Era of Throuples
Ashley MadisonOnline Dating Service
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Ashley Madison, the service dedicated to extramarital affairs, claims to be thriving in a world where polyamory isn’t always a dirty little secret.

—the infamous website dedicated to extramarital affairs—became a household name. The website and its purposely eye-raising slogan—“Life is short, have an affair”—seemed to define a decade filled with tawdry turpitude and tabloid titillation.

Without a trace of irony, Keable suggested that the reason Ashley Madison remained popular, even in the era of dating-app oversaturation, is its commitment to privacy. While other apps require users to declare their desire for non-monogamy openly, with their name and face attached, he said: “Not a lot of people want that. They don’t want to fight for this. They want to find what they're looking for they don't have the world know about it.”On that point, the site seemed very strict.

Anyway, Chris, who claimed to be in his 40s, told me he joined the site a little over a year ago, as a way to ease into dating after his divorce. He works a full-time job that’s “pretty demanding,” and between that and taking care of his kid, he said, he doesn’t have a lot of time for a relationship. Plus, he added: “Divorce sucks. It’s kind of ruined relationships for me.”

Chris’s story seemed to comport with the data Ashley Madison supplied:16 percent of the single male members the site surveyed said they appreciate not having to worry about “unspoken traditional rules” like waiting to discuss sex; 11 percent said they liked being on the “same page about commitment;” another 11 percent said they liked being able to indicate specific sexual preferences; and almost a third said they joined for a combination of these reasons.

In response to a request to interview one of these women, the company offered a written “testimonial” from an anonymous woman in her 50s, who—in suspiciously professional-sounding language—said Ashley Madison had “helped strengthen my relationship with my husband” and that it had “ them closer together to know that our commitment to each other is undisturbed by having outside partners.”

“When you come to Ashley Madison, you're coming with the knowledge that you're meeting with people that don't want their kids or their family or colleagues knowing about this,” he added. “And there's a lot of respect for that.”

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