“Many of us are told over and over again (often by an abuser), that we are lazy or irresponsible or not worthy of love. Eventually, we come to believe it. And so when someone promises to love us, we will do almost anything to keep that love.”
happen for all sorts of reasons, and not every abuser is inherently evil. In my experience, abuse stems from insecurity. Your first instinct might be to try to fix your partner and resolve their problems, but you actually can’t because it’s not your problem or fault. When they fall, you can’t wish away your partner’s scraped knee and when they act abusively, you can’t love away their insecurities.
At the same time, accept that you will drop the ball sometimes, too. It’s normal and it’s OK to mess up small things. It’s OK to not text back immediately. It’s OK to run late and apologize for it. It’s OK to actually have your own space. It’s not OK for them to hold that against you and it sure doesn’t match up to them cheating on you.and the strength to put yourself first:Take the time you need to reflect and write down your feelings, THEN form your own opinion or argument.
Neither does good sex or a few days of treating you well before returning to the same negative behavior. It’s also easy to forget that you never cried so much before you fell in that hole.You are not selfish for having wants and needs. It’s respect and partnership, not supply and demand.. Laughing with a friend of the opposite sex doesn’t mean you can’t be trusted or that you’re a disloyal cheat..
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