'I expected freedom with control—both over myself and others. Now I know that this isn’t realistic.'
and a new love — both incredible, destabilizing, and transformative forces — in my quiet life. But in one short sitting, the words, scenes, and meaning all came pouring out of me from some dark, warm well. I felt strong. After writing that article, I began taking a more vulnerable and open approach to my work.
Like Fern, I believe in love. I believe the best people love love and love to give love. I believe love should be given freely and received as a gift of respect that is of great value. True love — the kind that doesn’t rely on power over someone, fetishization, shoddy intentions, or entitlement — is something I strive to experience and offer every day of my life.how to love, to offer it up, is harder.
, relationship anarchy, and relationships based in love and agency. I stuck only with what I could imagine: “not monogamous.”nonmonogamous during my high school years and was, generally, like most other teenagers, messy, lovestruck, and pining. Finally away from an insular high school environment and enrolled in college, I started dating women, bent on exploring my sexuality without rules or regulations. I went to a small, liberal arts college with a high percentage of queer students, where terms such as
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