'I thought: if I just helped my friends, colleagues and neighbors, maybe I’d get the connection I craved in love, work and life,' writes journalist Gina Ryder.
iframe src="https://www.npr.org/player/embed/g-s1-20058/g-s1-20097" width="100%" height="290" frameborder="0" scrolling="no" title="NPR embedded audio player">If you haven’t laid awake at night worrying about relationships, we are not the same.
A couple of years ago, I started to recognize a gap in the kinds of relationships I wanted — mutual, healthy, loving, happy — and the kind of relationships I actually had — distant, one-sided and unhealthy. If a codependent is attached to an alcoholic, for example, they may focus all their energy on helping their loved one get or stay sober. Or they may stay home because they think it will help their partner avoid the temptation to drink. In this definition, codependents follow a dysfunctional relationship pattern. They are only OK if the other person is OK.
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