The grief of losing a partner, close friend, or cherished relative doesn't ever go away. But it does soften, and over time, we may find that we start to grow around it. Here's what that can look like, explains SophiaDembling
or happy within sadness. I seesaw between living joyfully and dropping into melancholy. I am working hard at rebuilding my life in this new configuration while still yearning for a life that is no longer possible. I still attend support groups, but not as fervently. Grief is a defining experience, but it is also becoming part of my life rather than dominating it. It’s the rock in a jar. I am growing around it. And the truth is, I like who I am becoming.Of course , everyone’s grief is different.
But I know that in the very fresh, raw throes of loss, hearing anyone talk about feeling pain years out is absolutely terrifying.And I want to assure you that no, it does not, although you probably won’t believe me. I get it. Early on, the pain is so all-encompassing it’s impossible to imagine relief.kind of pain. Not the kind that can bring you to your knees, the kind that nearly suffocates you when you open your eyes each morning.
Again, this is my grief. I know another woman, also three years out, who wants to leave everything exactly as it was before she lost her husband; it helps her nurture an ongoing connection with him. And that’s fine too. To each her own. Three years out, I am living my life as fully as possible while simultaneously yearning for what is no longer and what will never be. I try to stay in the present while still cherishing memories from the past. I still hurt and cry, but I also let myself feel joy when I can.My passage through this pain is not over; I doubt it will ever be. I have much more to process and experience But for now, I wanted to take a moment to acknowledge how I am growing around the grief. As people said I would.
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