The psychotherapist and ‘Where Should We Begin?’ podcast host shares insight into her process while answering audience questions from her recent tour. Hint: It’s about listening for the question beneath the question.
is adapted from the podcast — which is now part of the Vox Media Podcast Network — and you can listen and follow for free onis the interaction with the audience. There’s a moment where I have a conversation around the questions that people ask me — and often very interesting questions because people have listened to the podcast. You have my voice in your ears, and that establishes a relationship between us, so you come with questions that presuppose a certain experience of trust.
3. “Esther, are you afraid that one day you will run out of things to say? That you’ll have said it all and that you risk potentially repeating yourself?” Number two: The polarization means that you have split the ambivalence. Because, by definition, you both care about school or the wellbeing of your child. So the idea that only one of you cares about it and the other one doesn’t is off. You both do. You may have different views for what you think is the right environment.
When you find yourself constantly in these either-or fights, don’t ask what it is you’re fighting about, but ask yourself what you’re fighting for. And the majority of the time, people fight over three main things: power and control ; care and closeness ; and respect and recognition .
But the question about “do I ever worry that one day I will have nothing to say?” No. Often, when I find myself repeating something, I say, “oh, I already said that. I should not keep that in my next article or talk because I hate to repeat myself.” But in fact, it’s not because I’ve said it twice that you even heard it once. So I have to constantly differentiate between what I have to say and what people are prepared to hear. Sometimes you need to say it more than once.
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