'How an orgasm changed my life'
It’s midnight on a Friday and I’m sitting on a leather sofa grabbing my best friend’s hand so tightly her knuckles are turning white. A mass of naked bodies surrounds us. They’re all total strangers, and they’re all having sex.
One metre away, a man is penetrating two different women on a giant mattress. He looks me in the eye as he thrusts into them. As his movements become deeper and harder, his breathing quickens, and I can tell he’s close. I raise my eyebrows approvingly and give him a smile so tiny it’s almost imperceptible. And with that, he comes, all the while maintaining eye contact with me. I know I’ll replay this memory in my mind when I masturbate alone later.
In four years with that partner, I didn’t come close to coming. At 21, I started dating someone who was incredible at sex and had my first orgasm. With that I realised something major:I know my delayed journey to orgasmic self-discovery isn’t unusual. Attitudes towards female pleasure are improving, but women still don’t masturbate as often as men according to a recent survey by
. The research shows women are seeing to themselves on average eight times a month, compared to men who do it every other day.This is unacceptable. Masturbation leads to orgasms, which in turn leads to better partnered sex. And, there are so many health benefits that come with climaxing that many women are missing out on.Having an orgasm releases endorphins and oxytocin and increases your blood flow. This literally lifts your mood. It promotes a healthy bond between you and your body.
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