How American Moms Got “Touched Out”

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How American Moms Got “Touched Out”
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It’s normal, experts say. But that doesn’t mean it’s right.

on the feeling posted on the website of La Leche League described a mix of anxiety, claustrophobia, and “guilt over feeling irritated by your loved ones.” That tracked with my own experience.

mothers—the presumed figures of primary attachment—to set aside their own needs to perform the “7 Baby B’s”: birth bonding, breastfeeding, babywearing, bed sharing, being responsive, bewaring of trainers, and balance. Trying to follow these guidelinesAdvertisementMy days as a mother were, in those early years, filled with pulls of skin, pokes of face, smears of food across my chest.

—I spiraled into cycles of regret, confusion, and shame, knowing how American culture side-eyes any negative emotions felt by mothers, especially when those emotions lead to rejections of closeness or tenderness.

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