Having spent the past 15 years as a professional caregiver, I have some do’s and don’ts for visiting an older friend or family member ...
For our experienced citizens who have acquired hearing aids, they shouldn’t just employ them intermittently. They should use them all the time. Hearing aids reroute neural paths in your brain, which upgrades your auditory abilities.
-- Jim R., in HoustonI was the only one sitting at a red light. When it turned green, I fumbled with the gear shift and was way slow even while beginning to move. Much after the green light, a car came through from the left at about 45 mph. If I’d started normally, he couldn’t have stopped. I’d be dead now. Two takeaways: First, it seems reasonable to honk because grotesquely endangering others’ lives is not OK. Second, always look both ways before leading into an intersection when the light turns green, no matter how long it’s been since the light changed. -- B.W., in MontanaHaving spent the past 15 years as a professional caregiver, staying round-the-clock with one elderly client at a time, I have some do’s and don’ts for visiting an older friend or family member: Do not “pop in.” Instead, schedule your visit ahead of time for midmorning or late afternoon. Many older folks take a long time to get ready in the morning, then nap after lunch. Do plan to stay 30-40 minutes maximum. Although your loved one may appear to enjoy your visit, many older folks tire easily, especially if they feel like they have to be “at their best” for a visit. Do not plan to share a meal, even if you bring the food. Setting the table and cleaning up after causes stress and uses energy your loved one may not have to spare. Do not bring food, unless you have checked with your loved one in advance and are sure that it is something they like, can have , and can easily prepare themselves. Otherwise, the food ends up in the trash, causing more stress. Do bring a child’s drawing and/or flowers and plan to share photos of children, relatives, pets and beautiful landscapes . Do keep the conversation light and positive. Talk about how their grandchild is enjoying kindergarten, not your upcoming health concern or a nephew’s divorce. Many older folks are prone to anxiety and feel helpless in the face of other’s troubles. All that being said, do plan to visit as often as you can and enjoy being together. -- Sarah Irwin, in Millboro, VirginiaIn regard to the inquiry by Ava G., in New Mexico, about baby formula stains, the best advice that I received over 50 years ago for washing baby clothes was to add dishwasher detergent to every load. It works! I used the bulk detergent, not pods. The baby bibs came out “slick as a whistle.” -- Jackie S., in South DakotaFor more than 40 years, Heloise and her mother before her have helped generations of women, men, and families with useful household hints. This domestic diva is the trusted and known authority on solving...
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