'Growing up Dominican meant that I was raised to be obedient and, in some cases, acquiescent.'
I grew up so Dominican that when I first arrived in New York at age 4, I insisted on wearing shorts in November because I didn’t understand the cold. I still do not understand the cold.glorious; our culture uses respect, obedience and acquiescence almost interchangeably. The word “no” feels like an insult, and politeness is mandatory.
“Obey parents no matter what, never express disagreement with adults, stay quiet when reprimanded, accept parental authority without questioning it, offer to help elders, defer to adult wishes, avoid a rude tone of voice, never talk back.” “I was taught that saying 'no' to an adult was disrespectful, and disrespectful is the last thing I wanted to be. So, I never said no, even if I didn’t want the food, even if I was uncomfortable, even if I was unhappy.”
Our culture has certain expectations of little girls because it is very invested in the women we grow up to be — wives, mothers and homemakers — more often than not giving these roles so much importance that any deviation is considered a failure. My aunts and mother wore their exhaustion like a badge of honor, withering themselves and busying themselves while inherently neglecting themselves.
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