'Post-pandemic and post-pandemic divorce, my daughter has often 'tested my love' by acting out.'
Laura Wheatman Hill"My refusal to take her swimming wasn’t what set her off on the road. I think she needed to know she was loved unconditionally."
Post-pandemic and post-pandemic divorce, my daughter has often “tested my love” by acting out. Kids do this and it’s something on my radar as a “bid” for my affection and attention. No matter what she does, even if it’s terrible, she wants to be reassured that I will not abandon her. She did this kind of thing before the divorce ... but we’d seen a big uptick since the split and we often discuss with our family therapist how to encourage my passionate kid to be a lover, not a fighter.
She finished packing, including her newest stuffed animal, a diary and markers, and several changes of clothes. I suggested she wear her boots so she’d be protected when the weather turns. She raised the hood on her bright pink sweatshirt, slung the bag over her shoulder, and slipped on her boots. My daughter stopped. She put her bag on the ground and started rifling through it, frantically looking for the walkie. This was it! She was going to tell me she’s coming home.My son spoke next, “Please come home! Over.”“I turned it off!” she yelled down the street. She repacked her bag and set back off.
“Watch out for coyotes,” I said and took her brother by the hand, starting in the direction of our house. “You know,” I said, turning around, “Since it’ll be a while, you could spend one more night at home?”She took my hand and walked home with us.“Will you read with us one last time?” I said, starting to worry she might actually wake up and try to leave again. She agreed. I chose, of course, “The Runaway Bunny” by Margaret Wise Brown.
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