AskABoss: 'I don’t have anything to hide and I have a good relationship with my manager, but it still felt risky'
I have been at my current job for about six years and have a good relationship with my manager. But for various reasons, I have decided that it’s time to move on and have been looking for something new. My manager doesn’t know about my search. Recently, the recruiter for a job I was interviewing for let me know that I was the final candidate and asked me for two references as the last stage: my current manager and a former manager.
And reasonable interviewers understand that. It’s very, very normal for job candidates to decline to offer their current manager as a reference, and it’s very, very normal for employers to be okay with that. Even if an interviewer does ask to talk to your current manager, most will understand if you explain why that’s not possible.
If you do agree to this kind of contingent-offer setup, make sure that you receive the offer and negotiate it before the reference call happens. Otherwise, there’s a risk that your boss gets the reference call and then you can’t agree on the terms of the offer. If you end up walking away because the salary is too low, for example, then there was no point in letting your boss get that call.
But if you don’t want your manager to know you’re interviewing and an employer is pushing for a reference from her, what can you do? First, clearly explain why that’s not possible — “My boss doesn’t know I’m looking and sharing that right now could jeopardize my job.” Then, offer alternatives.
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