DearPrudie: I just don’t think I can do what it takes to be 30 pounds lighter.
I moved to a new country a few years ago and struggled to make new friends. Most of my friends here are white, while I’m Black African, and we often struggle to find common ground. There have been difficult moments where someone’s touched my hair without permission or invited me to all-white events where I’ve felt ignored and othered. In each case, I’d bring up the issue carefully, and the women would apologize and promise to be more sensitive. I’m now pregnant.
What should I do? I don’t make nearly as much money as these women and have struggled to find full-time employment since I moved here. I’m glad to be getting so many items that I would normally be unable to afford. But I’m upset at what looks like another instance of my friends’ cluelessness.
In the week since, I’ve noticed that some of my cookware is missing. She denies taking it, but in the past she has bragged about shoplifting. Also, where else could a bunch of pans have gone? I’m a grad student, and I could replace my cookware, but it would definitely hurt my budget. Meanwhile, the electric bill was in her name, and I’m thinking about withholding the money it would cost to replace what’s missing from what I repay her for the bill. We’re talking about $50.
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