Dear Prudie: I was shocked, and I can’t forget or totally forgive it.
My husband and I have been married for 28 years, but our relationship has been at a brick wall for more than half of the marriage. For the past four years, we have lived under the same roof but completely separately, essentially as housemates. Up until now, I have made the decision to stay in the marriage because A) we have two daughters, both in their early 20s, and B) my husband is a pastor and I was once concerned about his image in the church community if we were to separate.
Aggression and worrisome behavior have now entered the equation, and we have both accepted that our union is no longer salvageable. I am ready to start dating and move on with my life, as my husband has been doing for more than half of our marriage, but he still isn’t ready to upset the church community with the news of our formal separation. Personally, I am done putting up a façade.
It sounds like you’re interested in leaving this particular church for good; you’re not required to make an announcement or shake the dust of this unhappy marriage from your sandals at the church door. You can just leave. If there are particular friendships you plan on maintaining, or if you’re directly asked, you can keep your conversations about the end of your marriage honest without being unkind—“We’ve been separated for a long time, and have been housemates for the last four years.
director of the National Center for School Crisis and Bereavement at St. Christopher’s Hospital for Children . He said there are four painful but essential truths that have to be conveyed age-appropriately to children who have suffered such a loss: Death is irreversible; all life functions end completely at death; everything alive eventually dies; there are physical reasons someone dies. Schonfeld is co-author of thisthat gives instruction on how to explain these difficult concepts.
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