Hear Me Out: Long John Silver’s Chicken Planks

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Hear Me Out: Long John Silver’s Chicken Planks
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Chicken planks, Long John Silver's chicken strips cooked in fish-and-chips style batter, is the greatest fast food item ever invented.

is a column dedicated to earnest reevaluations of those cast-off bits of pop-cultural ephemera that deserve a second look. Whether they’re films, TV series, albums, comedy specials, videogames or even cocktails, Hear Me Out is ready to go to bat for any underappreciated subject.

If you’ve never tasted the bliss of a chicken plank, imagine the best chicken tender you’ve ever had, and then magnify that by an order of about one million. Truly transcendent, the chicken plank is the ultimate form of fried chicken: thick, juicy strips of white meat deep-fried in the same luscious batter used for Long John’s famous fish.

If you’re deeply entrenched in the American fast food scene, you might be wondering why I don’t just go to a Captain D’s. Somehow, Long John’s main competitor in the fast food fried fish segment seems steady. None of the Captain D’s I know of have shut down, and my wife, who loves fish and chips, happily hits one up a few times a year.

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