Justice for Harry Styles's many nipples
to flaunt his robust build and gratuitous tattoos, but this feels different. It is a celebration of his many nipples, his third highest slightly in frame in the southeast quadrant of the image, to the right of his butterfly chest piece. Styles fans have always known his perfect flaw of having just a couple too many human udders, but here, three of four are out to play.
The promise of “sex, psychedelics, and the secrets of stardom” in the cover story take a backseat to his third nipple, but when the article goes live online I assume they hop on over to the driver’s side. My hope is that I get to learn about a spiritual shroom trip Styles took to Joshua Tree with one of his many model girlfriends, but I’ll settle for anything even slightly devious and revelatory. The guy has gotten too into 1970s-brand rock star mystique, and I want more, not less, from him.
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