Harriette Cole: When I get happy, my friend gets snide

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Harriette Cole: When I get happy, my friend gets snide
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Her reaction almost makes me feel bad for doing well.

It is time for you to expand your friend pool to include people who are focused on building their lives. Find people who will encourage you to continue pursuing your dreams. You cannot force your friend to be your cheerleader. You don’t have to dump her either. Just be aware of what she can — and cannot — offer.Growing up, I never really knew my biological father, aside from what my grandparents would tell me. When I was 7, my mother remarried, and my stepfather has been my daddy ever since.

Now, as an adult, my biological father has reentered my life and is an active granddad to my kids. This is wonderful, but he often speaks as if he raised me, and ignores the fact that he missed over 20 years of my life.: You and your father need to have a heart-to-heart conversation. Start by thanking him for coming back into your life and acknowledging how important it has been for your children. Then, ask him what took him so long. Don’t be mean or accusatory. You don’t want to scare him off. But you do need him to talk to you.

Ask him what his life was like for those 20 years that he wasn’t there. Ask why he chose not to continue to have a relationship with you after he and your mom broke up. Tell him what life was like for you.

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