Is this something people do, or does it mean she’s in trouble?
: I just received an invitation to a wedding from an old friend. This friend and I used to be close, but frankly, we started hanging out a lot less because I couldn’t afford her lifestyle.Harriette Cole: My husband has gone off the deep end in his retirementHarriette Cole: I thought these two friends would like each other.
I was so wrong.She always had a taste for more expensive things in life, and that just wasn’t my priority at the time. She used to poke fun at me, calling me cheap, and that took a toll on us, but we stayed in touch through phone calls and texts on birthdays and big milestones. I wasn’t surprised to receive the wedding invitation, but I was surprised by what was in it: Along with the request to RSVP was a price tag and various methods of payment. My friend — the same one who used to make fun of me for saving my money — is now charging $150 per person to attend her wedding! The irony is beyond me! I’ve never heard of something like this before. Should I go? Should I ask her if everything’s OK? Is this more common than I realized? Help me out; I’m stumped.: Out of curiosity and care, call her and congratulate her on her upcoming wedding. Ask her to tell you about her fiance and the wedding plans. At a natural point in the conversation, ask her why she is charging to attend the wedding. Admit that you have never seen this before and that it caught you off guard. See what she has to say. As far as attending the wedding, that’s your decision. Gauge how you feel after you have talked to her. That $150 could be the cheapest wedding gift you ever give.: About 15 years ago, I studied abroad. It was a life-changing experience! At the time, I made a promise to myself that I would spend at least one year as an adult living in the country I studied in. As life continued to happen, I let that promise fall by the wayside. I’ve barely lived in a different city, let alone another country. Recently, though, with the volatility of the workforce and economy as a whole, I’ve been wondering what’s next for me. I’m currently unemployed, and I wonder if it is better to try to maintain the momentum of my career or ride the wave of this recent layoff and take some time to fulfill that old promise. Part of me is afraid to take a break from the workforce because I worry that it will just push me further away from my career trajectory. Another part of me is afraid that as I continue to climb the corporate ladder, there will be less time and curiosity for personal fulfillment.Miss Manners: We feel like we are a fun couple — but maybe not as fun as we think?DEAR BROKEN PROMISES : Many people are choosing to explore abroad these days, so why not you? What you have to find out is if and how you can work if you move out of the country for a while. Rules around work visas are strict in many countries. Beyond that, gaining life experience in another country should be beneficial for your career if you pay attention and work hard to connect the dots. Go for it. Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.East Bay site of restaurant that closed over crime woes lands buyerAsking Eric: My friends tell me I'm lucky. Who can I talk to about what my husband does?Harriette Cole: Should I ask the bride why she's billing her wedding guests?San Jose: Family seethes as judge further reduces sentence in 1987 capital murder case
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