Plus: I can’t shake my worries about my teen’s summer trip.
My best friend has recently built a close connection with a co-worker. She has always been a people person, so her having a new friend is not a surprise to me.
This time, though, it feels different because the co-worker is invited to everything. Harriette Cole: I felt culturally disrespected when he asked me to chip in on our second dateHarriette Cole: I stole my neighbor’s dog, and he knows itA couple weeks back, for example, my best friend and I planned to meet up for a breakfast date as we hadn’t seen each other in a while.
It took me by surprise when the two of them showed up to the cafe. I went with the flow because I didn’t want to be rude, but there were some life updates I wanted to share privately with my best friend. Last week I suggested we do a happy hour, and immediately she mentioned that her co-worker has been wanting to go for drinks, too.
I am totally OK with having group outings from time to time, but I don’t really have much of a connection with her co-worker. How can I get my best friend to prioritize time for just the two of us without sounding territorial? Tell your friend that you want some alone time with her to catch up. Acknowledge that her new friend is nice, but ask her to join you solo this time.
When you get together, remind her that you miss her. As she builds new friendships, ask her not to forget yours. : My 16-year-old daughter wants to participate in a summer study abroad program, and while I want to support her, I can’t shake my concerns. She’s never lived away from home before, and the idea of her being in another country without me nearby feels like a big leap for both of us.
I do see the value in this experience. It could help her grow, become more independent and see the world in a way she hasn’t yet. I don’t want my fears to stand in the way of something that could be truly transformative for her. At the same time, I worry about whether she’s prepared to take care of herself and handle unexpected situations on her own.
Harriette Cole: Am I wrong to bar my teenager from public transportation? Dear Abby: I took the beatings that should have gone to my brother How can I best support her in this decision while also making sure she’s ready? And how can I prepare myself for letting her go for the first time? : Learn more about the program through your daughter and her school .
Find out about the curriculum and location of the program as well as housing. Who else is going? How many roommates will she have? Who is chaperoning?
Typically, these programs are tightly run. For high school, often a teacher from the school accompanies the group. By researching the program and its structure, you can get some relief in understanding how your daughter will be treated and protected. You can also schedule check-ins with her for video calls, which you can do for free with WhatsApp.
Ask her to share her location with you so you always know where she is. Then just remind her to make smart choices so that she will be safe and happy. Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.
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