I know I shouldn’t take it personally, but it’s hard not to.
I’m a college student and work an on-campus job where I act as a liaison in communication between the students and the institution. Recently, people have been taking the frustration they have with the school out on me, and it’s beginning to impact me.
I know I shouldn’t take it personally, but it’s kind of hard not to when someone’s yelling at you. The other day, a student was so frustrated that school security had to get involved. I brought this up with my supervisor, but I am scared that something similar may happen again in the future. Do you have any recommendations or suggestions on how to distinguish personal attacks from frustration with the school, and also how to deal with them?
What did your supervisor say? There should be trainings at your school on how to deal with agitated students and hostile situations. I recommend you get to know the security team and alert them whenever you believe an encounter is getting out of hand. It may not matter whether an attack is personal or directed at the school.
As a school representative, you sometimes may be a target. What you can do is to remain calm and clear, and support the moment by offering clarity and a way to resolve the situation while treating the person with respect. Make it a goal to be known as a fair liaison — someone who listens and works to come to a thoughtful and effective conclusion as issues arise.
Your intention is important here so that students and officials grow to trust you. I am in the process of moving and have come to the realization that I have too much stuff. I’m aware that I need to throw some things away; however, I feel selfish getting rid of things. I don’t come from a lot of money and often feel like getting rid of things is just throwing money away.
By no means am I a hoarder or live in filth, I just hold on to a lot of clothes, gifts and decorations, and I am scared to throw them away. I don’t really know how to get over this and pick through items to keep, trash or donate. Do you have any recommendations on how to get over this and be OK with getting rid of some items?
: You can begin a regular practice of giving away items you no longer need that others may be able to use. A trusted recipient for this is the Salvation Army or Goodwill. They will accept most gently used items. Sales of those items go to support people in need.
You can also consider joining a resale app that allows you to sell your items for direct benefit to you. Some that are popular include eBay, Facebook Marketplace, Poshmark, Etsy, Depop and Vinted. In terms of mementos you collect along the way, anything with particular sentimental appeal, take a picture and store it in your phone. One or two items may be OK to keep on a shelf.
Honor your space by not adding too many elements to it. Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.
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