I tried to be gentle about her money issues, and her response took me aback.
: I have a close group of six friends. “Jane” has always been tight on money, and we’ve often covered her expenses without much fuss, since the other five chip in. Whether it’s going to movies, restaurants or clubs, it’s been fine.Harriette Cole: I’m in finance, and I want to be an artist. At 36, am I too old?
After a few outings, I gently suggested to Jane that if her boyfriend continues joining us, they should start contributing, too, as covering for two people is a strain.With the way she responded, it dawned on me that their action has always been intentional, and my group felt quite frustrated about it. How should I approach this situation?While it was nice that you and the rest of your friends covered for her, the fact that you never talked about it has backfired on you.
The rest of the group might only be frustrated, but if this person behaves this way in her job after school, she won’t have it for long.In the so-called real world, everybody has to do their part, at least most of the time. While responsibility is not always measured equitably, it is important for all of us to understand that we need to be good on our word, meaning we actually do what we say we are going to do. We also need to be able to do our part when we are on a team.
Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions [email protected] or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.
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