I’ve been nice about his ‘sensitivity,’ but I don’t know how much more I can take.
For relationships to work, both partners have to be aware of each other’s lives and rhythms. Of course, it’s nice to make accommodations when you can, but that does not mean you have to completely overhaul your life to appease his sensitivities.
Tell him what you can and cannot do. If he can’t live with that, the writing’s on the wall. Do not acquiesce. It’s easier to leave a relationship in the early days than to stay and have to extricate yourself later.I’m an Indian American man who has only dated white women. I recently met an amazing Indian American woman I have become very close to. She has only dated white men in the past, so we both can relate to not dating within our own race.
After becoming so close to each other, we’ve decided to move forward into a relationship. Everything is great except for the physical chemistry. I cannot bring myself to be intimate with her because I feel like I’m kissing a family member, and I get completely turned off.It could be that you simply are not physically attracted to this particular woman, or you may have unconsciously trained yourself to think of people of your own culture as family members, not potential partners.
Since you truly like this woman, why not talk to her about it? Yes, it will start off awkwardly, but at least you will be able to address it. Tell her how much you like her and want to see if you can give the relationship a chance. Admit that you see her more as a family member — an auntie even — than as a lover. Ask her what she is feeling.
Have an honest conversation. You have nothing to lose by disclosing your innermost thoughts about each other. Talking it through will help you to see if it’s worth attempting to cross the romantic line. If you both remain true to yourselves and kind to each other, you will be able to remain friends even if a romance doesn’t blossom.
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