Hannah Brown on Her 'Volatile' 'DWTS' Partnership With Alan Bersten

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Hannah Brown on Her 'Volatile' 'DWTS' Partnership With Alan Bersten
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Hannah Brown reflects on her 'crazy experience' on DWTS: 'It was either we acted like best friends and true partners, or we couldn’t stand each other.'

Amid the drama in her love life, Hannah was tapped to compete on the show. She saw the opportunity as a way to combat the anxiety and depression she was feeling in the wake of Her romantic life managed to still be a topic of conversation, though, as rumors swirled that she and her partner, Alan, were dating. That was the furthest thing from the truth, though.."There's just a lot of high emotions.

"It was either we acted like best friends and true partners, or we couldn’t stand each other," she writes."He’d push me too far in rehearsals, and I’d say, 'Get out of my face. I’m not doing this,' and he’d say, 'You’re lazy! You’re not trying!' While I worked hard and focused on the prize, and concentrated on becoming a better dancer every day, the process itself kept bringing out the worst in me. I was emotionally unwell.

Looking back on it now, Hannah told ET,"I think we had a shot at doing well and he pushed me really, really hard." "He knew I could do it, but, at the same time, I was in my emotional state. I probably needed to be seeking some help in that. It was just really hard for us," she said. "We definitely communicate differently. We had a really hard time. Harder than it it looked on the show. We [would] openly get into arguments.". In her memoir, Hannah shares a journal entry from the night she won the show. In it, she reflects on feeling"empty" after her big win.

"I didn’t hear them announce my name as the winner, because I was perplexed by how numb I felt. Why wasn’t I excited?" she writes."... I was happy for the excitement and celebration Alan was feeling, but the feeling I had was 'Well... I did it. What’s next?' I hate admitting this. It shouldn’t have been that way. I worked so hard but I was so miserable.

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