OPINION: greggutfeld asks if airplane mask mandates will ever end
They're extending the federal mask mandates on planes, trains and other public transit for another 15 days. Add that to 14 days to flatten the curve. We're talking almost 30 days of inconvenience. So you have to wear them on your next flight in between sips of water, vodka, tequila or, in my case, the tears of children. Without it, I'll shed this beautiful body like a snake.
Like the attendant who wakes you up from a harmless slumber because your diaper slipped a millimeter like it's an oxygen mask and they're saving your life. But does the virus need to give two weeks' notice before it quits? And besides, research shows that planes have the safest air around thanks to HEPA filters and efficient circulation. Anyway, I read somewhere that if you lived your whole life on a plane, you'd live longer with reduced risk for all types of death. . And yes, I made up that stat, but that's what the experts do.
Then wear 20 masks and stay home, you creep. That's advice I'd give to"The View" even if there wasn't a pandemic — no wonder Whoopi took off. And if you think Sunny is annoying on TV, imagine sitting next to her on a long flight. Even al-Qaeda would say,"Get me off this plane." Those unwashed masses who fly coach and have to bring their own snacks on board, usually beef jerky.
United States Latest News, United States Headlines
Similar News:You can also read news stories similar to this one that we have collected from other news sources.
Shippers threaten to yank business out of Texas over Gov. Greg Abbott's border traffic slowdown'I foresee companies making plans to move their business to New Mexico and Arizona,” the head of one trade association said. Texas GregAbbott supplychain Immigration trucking SupplyShortages Beto
Read more »
Palo Alto Parents Greg and Amy Colburn To Be Sentenced In College Admissions ScandalA Silicon Valley couple accused of paying $25,000 to cheat on their son’s college admissions test will be sentenced on federal charges Thursday in the sprawling bribery scandal.
Read more »
Texas National Guard replaces commander overseeing Gov. Greg Abbott’s troubled border missionThe Texas National Guard has reassigned yet another top general associated with Gov. Greg Abbott's border security mission, known as Operation Lone Star.
Read more »
Analysis | Greg Abbott eagerly fills the border-politics void left by TrumpThe Texas governor has unveiled a battery of ploys aimed at elevating the border as a political issue — and at elevating himself.
Read more »
Texas Gov. Greg Abbott ends some border cargo inspections after truckers protestGov. Greg Abbott announced that Texas will stop the controversial inspections of cargo trucks that have snarled border traffic at just one international border crossing.
Read more »
Migrants arrive in D.C. on buses sent by GOP Texas Gov. Greg AbbottA group of undocumented migrants arrived in the nation's capital Wednesday on a bus sent by Texas Gov. Greg Abbott, as part of the Republican governor's strategy to oppose the Biden administration rescinding a Trump-era border policy.
Read more »