A guest was not able to sleep due to the host's TV volume, leading to an argument and a compromise.
My sister’s hardwood floors were being refinished, so I said it was fine for her to sleep on my sofa bed in my one-bedroom apartment for four nights.
Around 10:15 p.m., she told me that she could hear my TV and that she was trying to go to sleep. She said I should either shut my bedroom door, which was open about a foot, or turn off my TV.
I told her I was planning to go to sleep by 11 p.m. I asked if she was wearing her earplugs, and she said no, because she doesn’t like to sleep with them. She then said that she had to go to work in the morning and she could not fall asleep with the sound of my TV. I declined to shut my bedroom door because my cat goes in and out throughout the night.
She needs access to her litter box and water bowl, which are not in my bedroom. We got into an argument and I told her she could go to a hotel. She just stared at me. At this point, we both just went to bed and she wound up getting the silence she wanted.
I believe that she could have put in her earplugs instead of giving me two choices in my own home. I saved her about $600 in hotel costs. The next three nights were not as bad because we wound up going to bed around the same time. Would it have been too obvious a solution for you to plug your own ears with headphones to watch television?
Or perhaps your set does not have the technology. Miss Manners thinks there are equal amounts of sympathy and blame to go around. Earplugs are indeed uncomfortable to wear to sleep, and your version of “low volume” may not be that of your sister’s. Alternatively, yes, you were doing her a favor and you should be allowed to stick to your bedtime routine.
Being a good host does require accommodating your guests’ needs — up to a point. Since the solution in this case was silently fuming or going to bed at the same time, it sounds as if you needed a third option. : My husband always leaves the meat on his plate for the end. I hate that.
Is it bad etiquette? It reminds me of my parents’ day, when meat was scarce in people’s homes and they held it to the end to enjoy it more. : There is no etiquette rule about the order of eating things on your plate — and yet Miss Manners would think the enjoyment would lessen by its getting cold — or, in times of real scarcity, stolen by one’s dinner companion.
Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, gentlereader@missmanners.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.
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