Grief and Loss Are Different When You’re the Caregiver

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Grief and Loss Are Different When You’re the Caregiver
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p|Robin Finn, MPH, MA, is passionate about sharing women’s stories. She is an award-winning writer, teacher, and coach, and the founder and creator of Heart. Soul. Pen.

Robin Finn, MPH, MA, is passionate about sharing women’s stories. She is an award-winning writer, teacher, and coach, and the founder and creator of Heart. Soul. Pen.,® a Los Angeles-based course blending writing and radical self-expression for women, and Hot Writing™ where midlife and menopause inspire the desire to say what you mean without apologizing.

Robin lives with her family in Los Angeles where she writes about midlife, spirituality, the creative process, and finding inner peace . She is a longtime advocate for children with ADHD and learning differences.My mom was my biggest fan. After I published my first novel, she came to all my author talks. At the end of each session, I’d ask if anyone in the crowd had questions, and she was always the first one to raise her hand. “I’m Vicki, your mother,” she’d say standing up.

I knew giving up her car was a big deal for her — driving was her independence. But I quickly realized it was a big change for all of us. Then Covid started and everything went dark. The in-home care plans stopped. Everything was closed and planned doctor’s visits and therapy just went away. The loss and the grief of losing a parent is something many people experience. But grief is a different shade when you’re their primary caregiver. There’s an extra layer of guilt and remorse — even though there’s nothing more you could have done. Because it’s not just grief, there’s a sense of responsibility and that’s very hard to handle.

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