I hadn’t ripped Songs: Ohia off, but was devastated that Jason thought I had; that I would. I struggled to fall asleep, running through new ways to explain the math in the morning so we could say goodbye with an understanding.
When I woke up, the door to the guest room was open, and the bed had been made. Out the front window, I saw Jason sitting in his rental car, engine running, a map unfolded over his face. I scanned the house to see if he might have left a note or something, but nothing.
I didn’t go outside. I ducked behind the curtains when he collapsed his map, put the car in gear, and pulled away. A few days later, after Molina drove across the country back home to the midwest, he called and told me Songs: Ohia was moving on, and would hire a new agent. It was a quick call with no room for discussion. Jason said he wanted someone who “sits in front of their fax machine all day.” I’ve never unwrapped that riddle, but even then I knew it was a thin cover for lost trust. Sometimes you get fired. To move on, you tell a story about how wrong the artist was, and how righteous your work and intentions were. You tell the story several times and build up a coat of anger over the soreness. Eventually, it’s a core grievance, and if you’re like me, you ride that shit for decades. For 20 years, I thought this was a story about Molina being an asshole, or an idiot, but last week I asked Trey to dig into his old agency archives for the details of this tour. He sent the info, and now I see many reasons Jason might have felt badly at my kitchen table at the end of that run. The routing was punishing; impossibly long drives with only two nights off across 23 days. They played a DIY art gallery in downtown Detroit in 2003. Maybe it was cool, but it definitely wouldn’t have been encouraging. I see the Mermaid Lounge listed for New Orleans. That had to be brutal. I’d be stunned if more than 15 people were there. There are some nice things happening on the routing, too, no doubt. Kevin Seconds promoted a show at True Love Coffeehouse in Sacramento. 7th Street Entry was in the mix in Minneapolis. I’m sure that stoked the guys out with the punk rock history in that little annex next to the big room, First Ave., with its Prince and. But, the average capacity of the venues was 285. The Bowery-size dream was not yet realized. The money was atrocious. Most of the tickets were $7. I’m taken aback to see that the Seattle show included Low as the headliner. Low were bigger than Damien Jurado and Songs: Ohia, and with Jurado being from Seattle, Molina played 1st of 3 on the bill. A show with those artists together is magic in the rearview. Tragically, only one of them could play today in any city, but on the ground that night in Seattle, it would have been a blow for Molina to be made the opener. I’ve poked around to see if Songs: Ohia ever made it to the Bowery Ballroom. I see no evidence of it happening. When Molina canned me, he’d not yet made the classic Songs: Ohia albumMama here comes midnight, with the dead moon in its jawPerhaps he’d already written it down. How could I have been mad that he was bad at math, my god.
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