When I see pictures of other high school reunions that I didn’t attend, I think to myself, ‘Who are those people and why do they look so incredibly old?’
Bad girl Marla Jo Fisher on her friend’s Harley, back when dinosaurs roamed the earth. Now she’s the Frumpy Middle-aged Mom. I received something in the mail recently that doesn’t make any sense. It was an invitation to my 50th high school reunion, which is impossible because I’m only 27 years old.
Admittedly, I have a 27-year-old son and 25-year-old daughter, but they’re both adopted, so that clears everything up, right? So, when we then moved to suburbia in northern Utah, the culture clash was just insurmountable. The kids my age were making their own root beer for fun and weren’t even allowed to date. It was unbearably wholesome. In my imagination today, I would have them listening to The Archies and Pat Boone, while I was definitely a Janis Joplin and Led Zeppelin girl.
The only time I actually considered going to my reunion was when I lived in Hollywood, worked in the entertainment industry and considered myself quite a hot, swinging chick. I probably really was 27 back then.
Nowadays, another issue is the flab around my middle. OK, OK, the flab around every part of me. In high school, I definitely was never hot, but I was reasonably attractive. I had long pretty brown hair I could sit on, and I wore a dress size that registered in single digits.
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