A reader seeks advice on how to handle a friend's excessive taking of Thanksgiving leftovers. The friend consistently takes more than their fair share, despite the hosts' generosity.
In today's Asking Eric column, R. Eric Thomas responds to someone who is bothered that their friend takes more than their fair share of Thanksgiving leftovers.About three years ago, they learned a friend of mine, with whom they are acquainted, had no plans for the day. So, she has been invited and now attends annually. These are kind and generous friends, so they offer their guests the opportunity to take home doggie bags.
My friend is first in line and often takes enough for two to three people, regardless of the amount of food remaining and the number of people there.My hosting friends are too nice to say anything to her. She is financially stable so it’s not that she isn’t sure where her next meal is coming from. Also, the hosts provide the entire meal, so she brings nothing to the mix. Although tone-deaf, my friend is extremely sensitive, so I am reluctant to say anything. Do you have any advice? Do I just accept that this is how my friend is (she has taken advantage of other situations in the past) or say something?Some might call this greedy; some might call it prudent. Some might say it’s a metaphor for the ills of society. But if the hosts don’t have a problem with it, neither should you. I understand the feeling of secondhand embarrassment, since she’s someone that you know better than them. So, you may want to ask them if her habit with the leftovers is something they’ve noticed or are bothered by. But, as the hosts, they’re setting the table and the parameters. They’re not asking anyone to bring anything and they’re encouraging their guests to take food home. If they wanted to set a limit on the number or size of doggie bags, they could
Leftovers Thanksgiving Etiquette Friendship Boundaries
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