At first, I thought the plane was nothing because it was so stealthy.
It landed gently on top of my house. I projected “Top Gun” onto my garage, and the plane emitted contented little huffs of exhaust whenever Tom Cruise showed up on-screen, while I looked around to see what would make a good snack for a jet in its condition.
I quickly Googled “what do planes eat,” but the answers varied widely from plane to plane, and I was not sure exactly what breed of plane I was working with and did not want to make it sick by mistake. Finally, I decided money was a good start. I know that F-35s like to ravenously consume huge amounts of money, so after a little deliberation, I found the birthday card I had received from the aunt and uncle who still insist on sending a dollar for each year and offered the jet a couple of bills, lighting each on fire. It gobbled them right up and seemed to feel a little better.I know that planes of this nature need a lot of runway , so I thought I should take it someplace where it could taxi around to its heart’s content and maybe get a little bit of exercise in while I figured out what to do. I took it to a large enclosure not too far away, where it could roam freely, roll over and fetch tennis balls without the risk of getting into any dogfights. I was glad I did. It was a very friendly plane and immediately began nesting, building itself a military-industrial complex and picking up shiny bits of metal and storing them in its bomb bays. It kept bringing me selected targets , but I said, “Bad jet! No!” and it settled down. It’s clearly a well-trained jet that deserves a good home. Its fuselage looks glossy and well-maintained.but I have a lot of questions I want answered before releasing it to its prior owner. I think a jet’s owners need to be responsible, even if it is a purebred jet that can. I understand that you don’t have to keep your jet on a leash everywhere it goes, but then the least you can do is install an absolutely reliable tracker. A jet its size, with its needs, should not be wandering around on its own. It might get into a bad situation with a smaller, more aggressive plane, or a bigger plane that was on-leash.Also, I hate to say this, but I was Googling the U.S. military and its record of caring for its F-35s, and I was not at all satisfied with what I saw! This is not the first one to suffer an unexpected mishap,. Nor is it even the most expensive. I know that some breeds have issues; I used to have a bulldog! But if you bring a breed with these needs home, one that has a single engine and is vulnerable to fire and something called “wing drop,” you have to be ready to step up to the task! That’s all. Hang on, the plane just loaded something into its payload area, and I’m not sure what it was; I might need to get it out. If it isn’t the missing F-35, I would sure like to keep it! I know that rescue jets are much more ethical to own than the ones that come from jet mills and breeders, and I think if I add a significant amount of runway to my home, I could make it happy, as long as I could accustom it to eating more humble feed than it is used to. I have already named it Stealthy.
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