Foster Mom Wants This 'Hellion' Dog Adopted As Soon As F**king Possible 'He knows basic commands such as 'sit,' 'down,' 'shake,' and 'why are you so f**king mental, stop chewing on that and get in your f**king kennel.'' 🤣
reads. “After experiencing his always-on personality, they’re JUST NOT HERE FOR IT. We’re all tired of Hank. Not because we don’t love him, we’re just TIRED. It’s like he drank ALL OF OUR COFFEE.” You know it’s bad just by the use of all caps.
Interested parties should be able to match his energy , but you have to be willing to train Hank to channel all that power into something positive. He’s 54 pounds of crazy “with eyes like the ocean.Unfortunately, that ocean also sank the Titanic.” He also “knows basic commands such as ‘sit,’ ‘down,’ ‘shake,’ and ‘why are you so fucking mental, stop chewing on that and get in your fucking kennel.
If you have kids, dogs, and cats already in the home, Hank may fit in. Or he may not. The ad simply reads, “It’s a possibility.” Clauder also has reviews of Hank on the website, including, “If I wasn’t such a lazy shit my kids would love Hank,” and “This dog is a Peloton coach after a triple espresso.”Some good things to note about Hank if you’re remotely interested in adopting him: “This asshole likes to keep you company, no matter what you’re doing,” she writes. “Cooking? He’ll fucking stand in between your legs and trip you up while you’re holding knives.
Someone please adopt this dog and share updates of his shenanigans for the rest of his life, which could likely be 20 years out of pure spite. Also, if anyone is interested in a creative writer with mad sales skills, Christine Clauder is also available for hire. She’s “currently unemployed and job-searching. Hint hint.”
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