Chronic illness can lead to social isolation and loneliness. Learning to grieve hidden losses and to pursue meaning and connection are key to moving forward.
Identifying and naming specific losses helps process grief.Once again, Jordan explained his rare medical condition to a new medical provider unfamiliar with his decades-long struggle. His reluctant expertise in his own illness heightened his sense of isolation.
or pain is being different, often in hidden ways. The differences may be obvious, but in many cases, they are invisible. Chronically ill or injured individuals smile, laugh, and express kindness to others, leaving the impression that there is no real difference between them and their friends and family. But the reality is that their medical condition, physical limitations, discomfort, and the numerous activities, foods, substances, and beverages they must avoid are constantly on their mind. A chronically ill person lives in continuous awareness that something is wrong. We love to imagine the future. As youth, we look forward to graduating from high school, leaving home, and launching into a great future. When our actual life is not even close to what we anticipated due to chronic illness or injury, we face the hard work of grieving the many losses in our lives. Here are five common struggles individuals with chronic illness face, along with ideas for moving forward.Life is lived forward. We live for the next adventure, accomplishment, and discovery. It is only natural that we would grieve what we will not experience. To move forward, we must realize that while our lives may look different, we bring with us our ability to enjoy what is, experienceWith chronic illness, we may need to grieve the physical activities, independence, routines, mobility, work, and freedom we likely took for granted in the past. To move forward, we must let go of what we cling to so our hands remain open to receive something new. We can become hooked by the thought thatIf chronic illness makes it difficult for a person to leave their home, building and maintaining relationships will be difficult. Even if mobility is not an issue, individuals with chronic illness may not feel seen or safe around others. To move forward, in-person or online support groups can be a great encouragement for those who are struggling with connection. In addition, look for people with shared interests or hobbies, or start a hobby that lends itself to connecting with others.Memories, especially family memories, are made around adventures, trips, games, holidays, and celebrations. A chronically ill or injured person may struggle to attend or participate in many events, which is another loss to grieve. To move forward, communicate to those close to you about your longing to be a part of what others are doing and look for ways to help them keep you engaged, even from a distance. Also, take the initiative to add to the calendar the events you can do, and let others know how important it is for them to join. Being viewed as a person who suffers is not a desirable identity. We would rather see ourselves making an impact, reaching our, and solving problems. To move forward, keep in mind that the people around you have the same basic emotional needs as you, needs you can meet. Your friends and family need to feel safe, belong, contribute, developand autonomy, and experience joy and fun. Helping others feel seen, safe, secure, and soothed is the greatest impact you can have on another person., which then leads to an increased risk of health-related problems like heart disease. If you are struggling with chronic illness, know that you are not alone. You matter, and your voice must be heard. Acknowledge to yourself both your losses and your amazingEvan Parks, Psy.D. , is a clinical psychologist at Kalkaska Memorial Health Center and an adjunct assistant professor at Michigan State University College of Human Medicine. He is the host of the Pain Rehab podcast.Self Tests are all about you. Are you outgoing or introverted? Are you a narcissist? Does perfectionism hold you back? Find out the answers to these questions and more with Psychology Today.
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