'From someone who has been on the giving and receiving end of 'unhelpful' help, here are five things not to say to suffering friends, and five things that would be helpful to say.' - Vaneetha Risner
Unsolicited advice is veiled criticism. Our disapproval and judgment can cause deep wounds, implying the person is handling the situation poorly. It’s not that we can’t make any suggestions, but we shouldn’t offer them in a judgmental or prescriptive way, as if she must follow what we are saying.You’re not setting strict enough boundaries with your children. They need more discipline. Tomorrow I’ll drop off a parenting book that will helpIt can be exhausting when we ask prying questions.
Do not fear, for I am with you; do not be afraid, for I am your God. I will strengthen you; I will help you; I will hold on to you with my righteous right hand.”Instead of asking general questions about how they are doing , ask how they are doing at that moment. Keep in mind that some people want to verbally process their struggles while others prefer to internally process alone. Sometimes sitting with them in silence is what they want most.
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