Two intertwined dilemmas: unexpressed feelings for a first love and navigating a ten-year relationship where proposals have been made during post-surgery states.
The constant thoughts about my first love have been lingering lately, appearing and disappearing like waves. It's normal, I know, but a few weeks ago, I stumbled upon her LinkedIn profile. Seeing her picture brought back a flood of memories from our relationship 15 years ago. I'm 35 now, happily in a relationship for seven years, while she's been married for ten. Let me be clear, I don't want to rekindle anything. It's more about the unresolved closure from that first love.
I suspect it has subtly affected my subsequent relationships, and it weighs on me. I love my girlfriend deeply and feel guilty for these feelings. I know discussing this with her could be detrimental, leaving me unsure about how to proceed. Will these thoughts fade? Will I always carry this sense of longing? Will I forever envision her as the one I was meant to be with, wondering what might have been had things unfolded differently? The question of reaching out for closure gnaws at me, but I ultimately think it's best to let the past remain in the past. We've both moved on with our lives, and revisiting it now, especially knowing it could harm my current relationship, seems unproductive. Perhaps allowing the past to remain undisturbed is the wisest course of action.My boyfriend, Chad, and I have been together for ten years. We haven't had children together, but we've been stepparents to each other's children since the beginning. Our journey hasn't been easy. We've dealt with his ex-wife's constant presence and multiple relationships, as well as my ex-husband moving away and leaving us to navigate co-parenting our daughter. To put it mildly, we've often been pushed to the back burner, dealing with the complexities of children and exes while facing our own health challenges, including surgeries for Chad, my daughter, and myself. He's proposed to me twice, both times after surgeries - once while still recovering from anesthesia and another time shortly after returning home from a procedure. I understand his eagerness, but these proposals feel overshadowed by his physical state. We've recently become grandparents, and the thought of hurting him by declining a proposal feels overwhelming. Yet, a clear, sober proposal is what I truly desire. I'm unsure how to address this without causing pain. Should I express my feelings, or am I wrong for not taking these post-surgery proposals seriously
FIRST LOVE RELATIONSHIP CLOSURE PROPOSAL SURGERY EX-PARTNERS GRANDPARENTS
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