Exploring barriers to the disclosure of abuse, which include shame, internalized myths about masculinity, and stigma around male victimhood
Barriers to disclosure include: shame and fear of being seen as weak for not fighting their predator.anthology on Netflix—a retelling of the story of Erik and Lyle Menendez , who killed their parents José and Kitty Menendez , in their Beverly Hills home, in 1989.
Critics have questioned why the brothers didn’t disclose the abuse earlier, which amounts to victim blaming and dismisses the profound impact of internalizedthat prevents many survivors from speaking out. Abuse is often a series of events occurring in isolation and secrecy, leaving children at the mercy of their caregivers. Perpetrators often use grooming, emotional manipulation, coercion, or threats to control their victims.
The series sheds light on an important blind spot around abuse that occurs in wealthy families ranking higher in the social food chain. Many family members testified to a multitude of red flags, including: bed-wetting, stunted affect, difficulty controlling emotions, poor, precarious sexualized behavior, and discomfort with physical displays of affection. At the time of the abuse, no one came forward to protect the children.
A reoccurring question raised in the series is whether the brothers are sociopaths who murdered their parents for money or whether they are victims who murdered their parents out of self-defense. From a trauma perspective, this questioning is problematic, as these two stances are not necessarily mutually exclusive. Children who were subjected to violence learn to turn themselves off as a survival mechanism and may not develop the capacity for compassion or empathy.
As a society, we must prioritize interventions that promote healing and prevention, rather than sensationalizing abuse, which only further exploits and victimizes survivors.Recovery from Narcissistic Abuse, Gaslighting, Codependency and Complex PTSD : Workbook and Guide to Overcome Trauma, Toxic Relationships, Anxiety, and Improve Mental HealthLahtinen, H., Laitila, A., Korkman, J., & Ellonen, N. . Children’s disclosures of sexual abuse in a population-based sample.
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