Etiquette Advice: Navigating Phone Sharing at the Dinner Table

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Etiquette Advice: Navigating Phone Sharing at the Dinner Table
EtiquetteDinner TablePhone Sharing
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A person seeks advice on how to politely avoid touching a friend's phone at dinner, given their husband's immunocompromised status and germ concerns. Miss Manners offers solutions for both immediate and long-term scenarios.

A friend of ours constantly passes his cellphone around our dinner table to share photos. My husband is immunocompromised, and so we are careful of germ exposure. We don’t want to touch this friend’s phone.

What is a polite way to avoid touching his phone and to stop this activity? I think we should just say, “No thanks.” Maybe I should talk to him in private so he isn’t embarrassed.Speaking with your friend, or gently announcing to all your guests that your table is a device-free zone, solves the long-term solution. But if you forget, or run into a similar problem with someone else -- and phone-passing has become a widespread nuisance of our time -- Miss Manners suggests you simply stand up, go to your husband and intercept the phone before he has to take it. You can make this look natural -- expressing delight at the photo and showing it to your husband -- before you then pass it to the next person over. After that, you only need to complete the action that ostensibly caused you to rise: a trip to the kitchen if this is your home, or to the bathroom if it is someone else’s.Judith Martin, who goes by the pen name of Miss Manners, is an author and columnist on etiquette authority. Martin graduated from Wellesley College with a degree in English. She began her career in writing as a...

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